Don't Tell Pepper
by crematosis
Summary: Tony convinces Steve that it is totally okay to include Bucky in their relationship because nobody will ever know. They'll keep it a secret from the team and they'll absolutely keep it a secret from Pepper because she'll only yell at them. Like most of Tony's good ideas, it comes back to blow up in his face.


A/N: I blame my good buddy kigichi for getting me into the world of Stuckony...and now I can't leave it alone.

Disclaimer: My strange brain is only responsible for terrible plot and terrible characterizations. Ack.

The first thing Tony did when he got into his hotel room was collapse face-first onto the bed. God, he hated having to fly overseas for business meetings. A ten hour flight was ten hours too long, as far as he was concerned. He wanted to be home, in his Tower, with his team. But Pepper hadn't taken no for an answer.

"Steve knows you have business obligations," she had told him. "He'll understand you have to be gone for a few weeks."

Sure, Steve was always understanding when he had to go on business trips. So was Bucky. But then again, she wasn't supposed to know about Bucky.

"Steve is the best thing that's ever happened to you," Pepper had said after his third date with Steve. "So don't screw this up by even thinking of anybody else."

And Tony had been good. So, so good. He had even stopped play-flirting with the rest of the team.

But then Steve had dragged Bucky into the Tower.

Even though Pepper had given Steve the "don't fuck it up" speech, a more pointed version that was basically "don't you dare leave him for Bucky", Tony could tell Steve was still half in love with him. And when Bucky started recovering enough to offer snarky commentary on all of Tony's favorite TV shows, tell him dumb jokes and truly terrible pickup lines, and show up randomly in the workshop to demand that he work on his arm, Tony could totally understand.

Because at that point he was half in love with him, too.

So they were a thing now, all three of them. And nothing cheered Tony up after a long day of work like coming home to Steve's cooking, hilariously bad horror movies with Bucky, and then a good threesome.

And here he was halfway around the world, having to face days of business meetings without his favorite stress relief.

Life was so unfair.

Tony rolled onto his back and reached into his discarded suitcase for his tablet. So maybe he couldn't have a hot threesome tonight, but Skype was better than nothing.

He felt instantly better as the call connected and his screen filled with an image of his two lovers stretched out on the couch in their sweats, Bucky sprawled across Steve's lap.

"Hi, Tony," Steve said. "How was the flight?"

Tony shrugged. "It got me there."

"What, no booze and strippers?" Bucky asked with a smirk.

"I sold that plane years ago, Buck. Try and keep up."

Bucky rolled his eyes and slouched down further into Steve's chest. "Shoulda kept the booze at least. Booze makes everything better."

"That's my boy," Tony said proudly. "If I could drink during these damn meetings, I might not hate them so much."

"You do a lot of good though," Steve said. "As much as I hate seeing you go, I always love hearing about your new ideas in the news."

Tony leaned back against his pillow. "There better be a lot of new ideas coming out of this trip. I've got work to do all day every day, and with the time difference..."

"We understand if you can't Skype every day. Getting your rest is more important. We'll hear all about it when you get back anyway," Steve said with a smile.

"Yeah, I probably should try and get some sleep soon." A quick glance in the corner of the computer screen told him it was 4 a.m local time. "But one more thing before I go. Stick your hand down Bucky's pants."

Steve's eyes lit up.

"What?" Bucky sputtered, jerking upright. "Steve, you-"

But Steve had already slipped his hand beneath his waistband and all Bucky could do was curse and arch back into Steve's chest.

Tony grinned and settled back to enjoy the show. Bucky was always so vocal during sex, which was why Tony usually loved sucking him off with Steve helping to hold down his hips. But this was pretty good, too. He enjoyed all of Bucky's whines and whimpers as Steve's hand stroked the bulge under his sweatpants. And then the long, keening moan as Bucky hit his climax and slumped back against Steve.

"Was that good for you?" Steve asked, pressing a kiss to the side of Bucky's head.

"Absolutely," Tony said.

He would have really liked to have seen Steve's big, strong hand wrapped around Bucky's cock, but he kept that to himself. It would just go to Bucky's head and his ego was big enough as it was.

"Fuck you," Bucky muttered without any real heat.

"You little ingrate," Tony said. "You should be thanking me. Because that's probably all the sex you'll get until I get back."

Steve was a stickler for not doing anything unless all three of them were present. Tony had tried very hard to seduce him the last time Bucky was gone for a few days chasing down Hydra bases with Sam. But Steve had remained completely incorruptible. It almost made him feel guilty for the masturbation contests he and Bucky always had in Steve's absence. Almost.

"I appreciate it," Bucky said. "But now I'm going to have to get up and change my clothes right when I was getting comfy." He wriggled out of his pants and canted his hips upwards so Tony had a good view of the wet spot on the front of his underwear.

Tony swallowed, suddenly aware of how tight his own pants were.

"Mm," Bucky said. "I can't be the only one having fun." He turned his head to mouth at Steve's right nipple through the fabric of his shirt.

Steve's eyelids fluttered. "Bucky," he breathed out.

Tony groaned.

"I bet you're so hard right now," Bucky said in a low voice. "Just thinking about how much you wish you were here." He raised his head a little higher to nibble the underside of Steve's jaw. "Wishing you could touch all of this skin." He slid his hands up under Steve's shirt and tweaked his nipples.

"Stop teasing him," Steve gasped.

"He likes to be teased," Bucky said. "Go on, Tony. Show Steve how much you like it."

Tony unzipped his pants with a sigh of relief.

Bucky's eyes darkened and he licked his lips. "You really are hard. Just look at him, Steve."

"I'm looking," Steve said. His eyes bored into Tony's with raw intensity.

Tony whimpered. "Steve."

"Just imagine it," Bucky said breathlessly. "Just imagine him touching you. That strong, firm grip."

Tony squeezed his eyes shut. He could imagine it all too well. There was nothing Steve loved more than having one of them sitting in his lap, arching back into him as he stroked them to completion. They had done this so many times that Tony could almost still feel Steve's hands around his cock, Steve's thumb dipping into his slit. But his own hands were poor substitutes for Steve's.

"That's it, baby," Bucky crooned. "So good."

In the background, he could hear Steve's panting. Or maybe it was just his own heavy breathing.

"I know what else you love," Bucky said in a conspiratorial tone. "My metal hand curled 'round your cock."

Tony jerked and cried out.

Through hazy vision, he could see Steve's bare chest heaving for breath, his sweatpants slung below his hips, and Bucky perched on his lap, looking unbearably smug.

Bucky made a show of licking each finger. "I hope that was as good for you as it was for me."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Smack him for me."

Steve cuffed him upside the head. "Brat," he said.

Bucky stuck out his tongue. "Jerk."

"Just wait until I get home," Tony said. He summoned enough energy to sit up a little straighter in bed. "I'll have you chained up in the lab, begging for mercy while I suck Steve off. And maybe I'll just leave you there for awhile, hard and aching and unable to touch yourself."

"Looking forward to it," Bucky said with a grin. "I'd like to see you try." His expression softened a little. "I am looking forward to having you home again."

"Love you too, babe," Tony said. "Babes."

"Goodnight, Tony," Steve said with contented smile. "We'll see you later."

The call ended and Tony rolled over, wrapping himself in the sheets. It seemed silly, but just being able to talk to his lovers had made all the tension of those long ten hours melt away. And getting off probably hadn't hurt either. He felt warm and relaxed, which was just what he needed to drift off to sleep without being sandwiched between his two human heating pads.

The next three weeks were really busy for Tony. He had meetings scheduled with seven different major corporations interested in energy saving technology and several of the meetings were all day events with company representatives demanding clarifications of every little detail and trying to renegotiate Tony's terms. And even on days when he wasn't in meetings all day, with the time difference, it was usually too late for him to Skype. Although he knew Steve wouldn't mind being woken up, even if it was two or three in the morning, Bucky was still having nightmares and Tony knew all too well what it was like to lie awake for hours or wake gasping for breath and not feeling rested. Bucky's nightmares would fade in time, just like his did. But in the meantime, Tony wasn't about to bother Bucky when he was finally getting a full night's sleep, no matter how lonely he was.

So he was only able to Skype one more time in those whole three weeks. Which was awful and horrible and he was never going to let Pepper talk him into another big European conference again. Sure, spending three weeks away from his boyfriends wasn't the end of the world, but it was still in the running as one of the top ten things Tony never wanted to do again.

Thank god the three weeks were finally over. Tony was almost ready to kill somebody if he had to be trapped in another room with an executive board.

Right before he boarded the plane home, Steve texted him that they would be picking him up at the airport, followed by half a dozen emoticons.

Tony found himself staring at the text for most of the flight, unable to keep the grin off his face.

As he stepped off the flight, Steve and Bucky were right there to meet him.

"Tony!" Steve said joyously. He pulled him into a tight embrace and then held him out at arm's length. "I wish you didn't have to come home to such bad news," he said, the welcoming smile wobbling.

"What?" Tony demanded. "What happened?"

He could imagine all sorts of things that could have gone wrong while he was away. Someone on the team might have gotten hurt in an attack, one of the bots could have broken down, Tower security could have been compromised and tech trashed-

"Don't be so melodramatic," Bucky snapped. "Pepper just walked in on us in the lab."

Tony blinked. "Why were you down in my lab?"

"Because we missed you," Steve said, as if the answer was obvious.

Bucky smirked. "Steve missed you at least."

Steve elbowed him. "It was so lonely without you so we thought we'd hang around down in your workshop for a little bit to feel like you were still with us." He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "And somehow just hanging around turned into making out."

Tony nodded sagely. He blamed Bucky for that.

"We jumped apart when we heard the doors open," Steve said. "But they're see through, so we don't know how much Pepper saw."

"Let me get this straight," Tony said. "You think Pepper might have seen you fooling around in the lab, but you're not sure?"

Steve nodded. "I'm sorry, Tony," he said miserably. "We should have been more careful."

Tony snorted and shook his head. "If she wasn't screaming and covering her eyes, she didn't see a thing. Remember that time she walked in on me sucking you off while you were still in uniform?"

Steve grinned. "Oh yeah, definitely remember that one."

Bucky raised an eyebrow.

"That was before your time," Tony said quickly.

"No fair," Bucky said sulkily. "You stop having uniform sex as soon as I show up? I want to try that, too."

"Maybe you didn't hear the part when I said Pepper fucking walked in on us," Tony snapped. "Do you really want to get us caught?"

"Sorry," Bucky said quietly. "I wasn't thinking."

Steve reached out to squeeze his shoulder. "We'll work something out."

"I'm sure Steve would be willing to suit up for an hour just for you," Tony said. "Not quite the same as post-battle sex with all the adrenaline and shit. But hell, at least you won't be dealing with the blood, sweat, and bruises."

Bucky shrugged. "Worth a shot."

On the way to the car, Tony and Bucky argued over who got to drive home. Since it was his Mazerati, after all, Tony naturally felt like he got the final say. But Bucky insisted that after a ten hour flight, Tony would be too tired to drive, which was the most ridiculous thing Tony had ever heard. He was never too tired to drive one of his sports cars.

"I'm driving," Steve finally snapped.

"Works for me," Bucky said. "I call shotgun."

That started another argument, but Steve shot Bucky a sharp glare and he conceded. That was the only upside to being gone for so long, Tony decided as he slid into the front seat. Steve would probably let him win any arguments in the next few days just because Tony had missed out on everything they did.

"Missed you," Steve said, his eyes still on the road as he reached over to ruffle Tony's hair.

"Missed you more," Tony said, leaning into Steve's side with a contented sigh. "You two at least got to be home, enjoying the comforts of my Tower and canoodling in my workshop while I was forced to endure three whole weeks alone in a strange country, suffering through-"

"Oh, shut the fuck up," Bucky muttered from the back seat. "It didn't kill you."

Tony peered over the back of the seat. "I had to eat tofu for lunch one day. Now that could have killed me."

Bucky made a face and Tony grinned. It never failed to amuse him how squeamish Bucky was about certain foods. Tofu, Jell-o, tapioca pudding, even oatmeal. He had had to live off the land while he was on the run, but it was amazing he had survived considering what a picky eater he was.

"But I got to go out to this really fancy French restaurant one night. You shoulda been there, Buck. Frog legs and escargot in garlic butter."

Bucky gagged.

"Not another word or I'm taking this car over a cliff," Steve threatened.

There was silence for a moment before Bucky asked, "Out of curiosity, you'd let me out first, right?"

"No, Bucky, you just doomed us all," Tony said, dramatically pressing his hand to his forehead..

They all laughed.

Oh god it was so good to be home.

Once Steve had carefully parked the car back in the garage, they rode the elevator straight up to Tony's floor. Well, their floor now. Because Tony had insisted on them moving in with him. Because his floor had the comfiest couches, the biggest TVs, the nicest bathtubs, and most importantly, the biggest beds. Tony had always had big beds, designed for multiple people at a time back in his partying days. But they were really serving their purpose now. More than enough space for the three of them on a good day, and just enough space on a bad day when one of them was having nightmares and needed a little air without waking the others.

Tony flopped across one of the wide couches in the den and started scrolling through his extensive movie collection.

Steve settled in beside him with a bowl of popcorn. "You sure you're up for this tonight? It was a long flight and we don't blame you if you'd rather just go to bed."

"Fuck no," Tony said. "I have to get the two of you caught up on the times." He stuffed a handful of popcorn in his mouth.

Bucky sprawled across the floor with a beer can and a bowl of chips. "Speaking of caught."

Tony groaned. "Goddamnit. I leave you two alone for three weeks and you blow the whole thing. Alright, who else walked in on you?"

"Not exactly," Bucky said. "But I'm pretty sure Natasha knows. Pepper was telling me that now that you and Steve are together, she needs to work her matchmaking magic on me and Natasha walked in and gave me one of those looks like she could see right through me."

"Natasha knows everything," Tony said dismissively. "If she didn't say anything, she'll keep it to herself. Unless she plans on blackmailing me later." Either that or just staring at him knowingly until he felt compelled to buy her something just in case. Natasha was way too good at that.

"I'll have a talk with her," Steve said with a sigh.

Tony nodded. "She'll listen to you. You're her favorite."

Steve and Natasha had bonded during their time on the run from Hydra. For some reason, sharing a near-death experience really tended to bring people together. Tony had no idea why. But whatever the reason, Natasha had a lot more respect for Steve these days.

Or, if you asked Pepper, a lot more romantic feelings.

There had been a small moment when Natasha and Steve had posed as a couple to escape their Hydra pursuers and had shared a brief kiss as a distraction. Tony had found it hilarious and he had spent two days making vulgar threesome jokes that made Steve turn red and Natasha roll her eyes and tell him that she would rather be tied to a cactus in the middle of the desert and torn apart by vultures than ever have sex with him.

Which was just her way of politely declining his offer.

Pepper was the only one outraged about the whole thing. Because threesomes were apparently gross displays of narcissism and immaturity and Tony was beyond that phase now and shouldn't even be joking about such things, Steve shouldn't have to hear Tony being crass because he was a good and decent person and obviously not interested in any shenanigans and his wholesome reputation would be ruined if Tony kept talking this way in front of the press, didn't Tony care about Steve's reputation, and really, Tony needed to start acting like a mature adult in a stable relationship because she was pretty sure he was going to get kicked out of the Avengers one day if he kept acting like a stupid teenager.

And blah blah blah blah blah.

Steve was lucky that Pepper blamed Natasha for the kiss. Because even a year later, the two women were still just coldly polite to each other.

Oddly enough, Pepper immediately forgave Natasha for masquerading as a secretary to spy on Tony for SHIELD. But kissing Steve to save their lives from Hydra was apparently completely unforgivable.

Pepper was weird sometimes.

"We'll be more careful from now on," Bucky promised. "I don't want either of you getting kicked off the team because of me."

"Not going to happen," Steve said firmly."After all we've done for the world, I think they can overlook a few indiscretions." He looked meaningfully at Bucky.

"I just wish we didn't have to keep sneaking around like this," Tony said. "I love Bucky too and I can't even fucking hug him without making sure no one's watching."

Bucky shrugged. "It's what Stevie and I had to deal with back in the day. Getting in a quick fuck whenever we could, being nothing more than best friends during the day. We got caught together once or twice, but since Steve was pretty much the mascot of the military, all they did was reprimand us."

"We were lucky," Steve said quietly.

Tony snuggled into Steve's side. "No matter what happens, the two of you are worth it. And if I get kicked off the team for corrupting our national icon, hey, it was fun while it lasted."

"If you get kicked out of the Avengers, I'm stepping down, too," Steve insisted. "I'm not letting you be blamed for corrupting me."

"'Sides, it's all my fault anyway," Bucky said with a lazy smile. "Too hot for the two of you to resist."

Tony threw a cushion at him. "Jarvis, start up Jaws. Bucky needs a shark phobia to go with his food phobia."

"Oh, fuck you," Bucky said. "I'm not afraid of sharks. Give them their space and they'll leave you alone."

Tony's eyes sparkled. "That's what you think. J, queue up Sharknado after Jaws."

Steve groaned. "Isn't that supposed to be a terrible movie?"

"Yup. It's one of those things that's so bad it's good. You'll see." He snuggled back into Steve's side, enjoying the warmth and letting Bucky's snarky commentary on the movie wash right over him.

He woke up in his own bed, which meant Steve or Bucky had carried him into the bedroom and put him in his pajamas. Which was very nice of them. He must have really needed the rest if he had slept through the whole thing.

When he stumbled into the kitchen, Steve, Bucky, Clint, and Bruce were all having breakfast.

"Good morning, Tony," Steve said. He pressed a mug of coffee into Tony's hand and kissed his forehead.

"Morning," Tony muttered, sinking into the nearest chair at the table with a heavy sigh. He had actually had a full night's sleep, but he still felt groggy. Jet lag, probably.

He propped his head up on one hand watching Clint and Bucky cook something on the stove. Bucky, especially. It was always good to see Bucky shirtless, his pajama pants hung low on his hips.

Even though Tony wasn't awake yet, his body sure was.

Bucky's hand brushed over Tony's shoulder as he passed by, his plate laden with scrambled eggs and bacon. He paused, glanced around and gave Tony a quick peck on the lips before continuing on to his seat.

Tony grinned at him across the table, mouthing "Morning, hot stuff."

Bucky grinned back and pushed his plate across the table to Tony.

Tony gratefully swiped one of Bucky's slices of bacon before pushing it back. They were both so good to him. He didn't know how anyone could survive with just one lover.

Natasha padded into the kitchen and snagged a bagel out of the bread basket. "Morning, boys," she said. "Tony, so good to have you back. I know some people that have really missed you." And yep, there it was, that knowing smirk.

"Good morning," Steve said. He cleared his throat. "I'm going to head down to the gym after this. You think you'll be up for some sparring?"

"You sure you don't want to ask Tony? Or maybe Bucky?"

"Tony's been working hard these past weeks," Steve said firmly. "I'll give him another day to recuperate."

Natasha smiled. "I see. I'll meet you down there in an hour."

"Good." Steve drained the last of his coffee and pushed back from the table. "I'll see you for lunch, Tony. I'm taking you out to celebrate your return, so don't forget."

"I won't," Tony said. He gave Bucky a sidelong glance. What were the odds that Bucky would just happen to want to go out for lunch too and just happen to wander into the same restaurant Steve picked?

Bucky just looked at him innocently, which meant he was definitely up to something. So when he got up for a second cup of coffee, Tony stole another slice of bacon off his plate.

He wasn't really hungry yet. It was still so early, a lot earlier than Tony was used to getting up. Steve and Bucky were evilly trying to train him into being a morning person by wearing him out with sex every night so he'd sleep, but even if his body was worn out, his brain was still working.

And speaking of work, he had a lot of stuff to catch up on.

He gulped down another cup of coffee and took a refill for down in the lab. "If anybody needs me, well, you know where I'll be," he announced to the room.

"Uh-huh," Bucky said as he reached for the newspaper in the middle of the table. But his disinterested facade was ruined by his sly smirk.

Tony took the elevator down to the lab and immediately started bringing up specs for everyone's weapons. Everyone had been overdue for an upgrade even before the stupid business trip. So now it was really, really overdue. And it would be embarrassing if he let his team go out fighting the latest bad guy with outdated tech.

He decided to start with Natasha's gun. Because he needed her cooperation and what better way to buy her silence than with better tech? Clint would be next, because Tony always loved trying out new trick arrows and he had a whole list of possibilities built up now.

Half an hour later, Tony's table was covered in all the parts from Natasha's gun. But he still noticed when Bucky wandered in and flopped down on the couch.

"Hey, babe. Glad you could make it."

Bucky grinned. "I figured you could use the eye candy." He sat up a little straighter. "You gonna make me something?"

"In a little bit," Tony said.

He worked in nice companionable silence for another forty minutes before Bucky started getting restless and playing with bits of scrap metal.

"This is boring," Bucky complained. "Can't we blow some shit up or something?"

"Nope. I've got a long list of important stuff to do."

Bucky groaned.

Tony gave him a look. "Maybe instead of bitching about my work, you should be the one talking to Natasha. And Steve can come down and quietly sketch."

"Hell no."

"Then shut the fuck up and let me work."

Bucky stuck out his tongue. "I'm doing you a favor, you know," he said. "Letting you look at all this hotness." He slid a hand down his abs.

"Eh, Steve's are nicer."

Bucky made an indignant noise. "Why don't you come over here and say that to my face?"

Tony pushed back from the desk and rolled his chair all the way over to the couch. "Steve's abs are ten times better than yours," he said cheerfully.

Bucky lunged for him and before Tony could react, he found himself pinned to the couch under Bucky. "Got anything to say now?" Bucky challenged.

"Yes. You're really heavy."

Bucky snorted and started tickling his sides.

"Okay, okay," Tony gasped. "Your abs are fucking works of art, like one of those hot naked statues."

"Better," Bucky purred. "Now tell me how much you want to-"

The lab doors opened with a swish and Tony yelped and shoved at Bucky.

Bucky tensed and then relaxed after a quick glance towards the doorway. "It's just Steve."

Tony scrambled out from under Bucky. "Hey, Stevie. What's the verdict?"

"Natasha says we're being ridiculous."

"Of course she does," Tony muttered. She always swore she wasn't spying on him and didn't have an shred of blackmail material on him. But then as soon as he let his guard down, she would casually mention to Steve that he hadn't actually been doing any of the training exercises he was supposed to do or rat him out when he ate the last of Clint's granola bars. Tony knew better by now.

"A, she says we're not nearly as subtle as we think we are. Because Clint's noticed a few friendly touches here and there and Bruce made a comment to her about the three of us doing everything together."

Tony groaned.

"And B, she says since we're all incapable of keeping our hands to ourselves, we should stop trying to be secretive and just be open about our relationship."

"Bad idea," Tony said immediately. "There's still a big chunk of people outraged about the two of us dating. There'll be even more against the three of us. I got so much shit back in the day for taking two or three girls home with me at a time. It meant I was greedy and selfish and depraved and immoral. I didn't give a damn what they said about me then because it was just my own reputation, but I'm not about to drag the two of you down with me."

"I'm not asking you to make an announcement to the press. But I'm tired of living like this in my own home. And it's not fair to Bucky. Why should you be the only one allowed to sit on my lap during movie nights?"

"It's fine," Bucky said. "I'm used to-"

"Well, you shouldn't be. I love both of you and I'm not going to feel ashamed about it. So, we're going to stop sneaking around the Tower. Everyone pretty much knows anyway, and if they don't, it's time they did. We trust these people with our lives. We shouldn't be keeping secrets from them."

"And if they decide they don't want to work with a bunch of deviants?" Tony asked quietly.

Steve shrugged. "We're still the same people we've always been. If they can't accept that, too bad. But I'm not going to keep pretending I don't love Bucky to keep the team together. I've sacrificed enough for the good of the world already. I can afford to be selfish for a change."

"Wow," Bucky said. "That was one hell of a talk Natasha must've given you."

Steve smiled sheepishly and his eyes flicked to Tony. "I'm sorry. I know how hard you worked to convince me it was okay if we took Bucky on even if it's not socially acceptable. And how you promised me it would be fine because no one would ever know. But we can't keep living like we have something to hide. No matter what anyone else thinks, I know falling in love with the two of you was the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Well," Tony said. "If that's how you really feel."

"It is," Steve said. "It's been hard for me to keep my hands off Bucky. Imagine what it's been like for him."

Tony swallowed. He hadn't really thought about how much more Bucky had been suffering. He knew it was a difficult situation for all of them, but he and Steve still could still go out in public together. Poor Bucky had to go through it all alone.

"For Bucky," he said quietly.

Steve nodded. "For Bucky."

"Aw," Bucky said. "I feel so loved."

"That's because you are," Steve said. He slipped in between them on the couch and rubbed a hand over Bucky's shoulder. "I love you, Buck."

Tony squirmed over Steve to tug Bucky into a kiss. "I love you, too."

"Ow," Steve said with a chuckle. "Am I in your way or something?"

"Nope," Tony said. "You're good." He plopped down in Steve's lap. It was a much better angle for kissing Bucky and with a quick tilt of his head, he could kiss Steve too. Because he would never leave Steve out.

"Love you," Steve said quietly. "Both of you." He put his arm around Bucky and tugged him into his lap, too.

And now everything was perfect. Curled into Bucky's chest, with Steve's arms wrapped around them. Tony had never felt so warm and loved. And he could have stayed like that all day, just savoring the moment.

But Steve's eyes were sparkling when he pulled back from one of their kisses. "Let's go out and celebrate."

"Ten is way too early for lunch," Tony complained. "Breakfast was only an hour ago."

Steve shrugged. "Then we'll just have something light. Come on, I really want to take you two out."

It was hard to argue with Steve's enthusiasm. He looked at Bucky, who only shrugged. "Sure, fine. Let's have lunch."

Steve beamed and shifted out from under them. "I'll meet you upstairs."

Tony looked down at his grimy work shirt with a sigh. There went the rest of his lab time.

"Stop moping," Bucky said. "We play our cards right and we'll be getting fucked against the wall in no time. You know how often Steve lets us have our way when he's in a good mood."

Tony brightened. "If I put on those black jeans that Steve really likes..."

"Now you're talking," Bucky said. He thumped him on the back. "Get going, hot stuff."

Tony changed his clothes in record time and met up with Steve and Bucky in the den as Steve was giving last-minute instructions to the rest of the team.

"Okay, we're heading out," Steve said, smiling in Tony's direction. "If anything happens, I've got my comm with me."

"We should be able to handle it," Natasha said. "Enjoy your date with Tony."

"Oh, we will," Bucky said with a smirk.

Natasha held out her hand to Clint. "That'll be $20."

"No fair," Clint whined. "That's cheating."

"What have we said about betting on people's relationships?" Steve said sternly.

"We weren't betting on your relationship exactly," Clint said. "We just had a running bet how long it would take one of you to give up and out yourselves. And damn has it been longer than we thought."

"Aye," Thor said. "Your commitment to your charade far exceeded our expectations."

"You motherfuckers," Tony said. "You all knew all this time and you never said anything?"

"Just to confirm," Bruce said, "the three of you are sleeping together, right?"

Bucky nodded.

"Ah," he said. "That makes a lot more sense then." He blinked. "Oh, I suppose I had my suspicions, but nothing definite."

Tony sighed. "Great. Just fucking great. You all pretty much knew we were all together and you let us make ourselves miserable trying to hide it. Jesus Christ, what kind of friends are you?"

"The kind that doesn't like secrets being kept from us," Natasha said serenely. "You hide your relationship from us, we all look the other way and pretend we don't see anything. That's just the way it goes."

"And you all never stopped to think maybe we had a reason for hiding?"

Natasha rolled her eyes. "You really think we'd refuse to work with you? Please, give us a little more credit than that."

"I knew some good people back in my day," Steve said quietly. "The Howling Commandos, even. And while they always looked the other way and never reported Bucky and I, they sure as hell were uncomfortable with the idea. So forgive us for assuming the worst. I doubt the rest of the world is as tolerant as you all are."

"Probably not," Natasha said with a shrug. "But after all we've been through together, I don't give a damn what you three do in your spare time. We all deserve a little happiness."

"Duly noted," Steve said. "Thank you."

"And just for the record," she said, "we only planned to make you suffer until the end of the year."

"Bah," Tony said. "Still evil." He grabbed Steve and Bucky's hands and tugged them towards the door. "I'm so glad you want an early lunch because I am itching to get out of here."

Steve insisted on driving again because he claimed Tony tended to drive pretty recklessly when he was angry, which was another lie. But Tony let him take the wheel anyway. After all, Steve was the one picking the restaurant.

They arrived at a little place called Bonnie's Burgers and were shown to a booth by the window. The floral wallpaper and bright yellow tablecloth was too bright and cheery for Tony's taste, which meant Steve absolutely loved it.

"This is great, isn't it?" Steve said as he peered at the tacky pink menu. "The three of us going out for a change?"

Tony had to admit it was a lot easier going out with both of them. There was no need for that ridiculously fake "oh, what a surprise. Didn't expect to run into you here."

"This place sucks." Bucky complained. "How can a burger place not have a damn thing with bacon on it?"

"I think it's awesome," Tony said. "They have a guacamole burger."

Bucky made a face. "I hate avocados."

"They have one with pineapple," Steve said.

Bucky sighed theatrically. "I guess."

Because Tony knew how to not be a dick sometimes, he decided not to order the guacamole burger, even though he really wanted it. Instead, he got a breakfast burger that was topped with an egg. And Steve ordered himself two spicy jalapeno burgers.

"I take it back," Bucky said around a mouthful. "This is good stuff."

Steve swallowed down the rest of his second burger and reached across the booth to pat Bucky's shoulder. "I'd never steer you wrong, Buck."

Bucky grinned and stuffed the other half of his burger in his mouth.

Sometimes Tony really envied how the two of them could eat.

After Bucky polished off a bowl of chocolate ice cream, they were finally ready to head back home. Tony was still annoyed with the others, but he was in a more charitable mood now that he had eaten. His mood got even better after Steve bent him and Bucky over the car once they had pulled into the garage. Nothing made Tony happier than a good bout of sex. Except maybe the promise of another bout of good sex that evening.

After lunch, they all went their separate ways. Tony went back to his lab. Steve was probably working out in the gym and Bucky was probably devising ways to glue Clint's shoes to the floor. Because he was such a lovable scamp.

By late afternoon, Tony was ready to take a break and he went upstairs to his floor and sacked out on the bed to watch TV for a few hours.

Bucky wandered in a little later and flopped down on the bed. "Where the hell is Steve? Didn't he promise us a quick fuck before dinner?"

"Yep," Tony said. He checked his watch. Quarter after five. At this rate it had better be a very late dinner.

"Fuckin' Steve," Bucky muttered. "I say we start without him."

At that moment the door banged open and Steve stepped inside, looking sweaty and frazzled.

"You're late," Bucky said.

"And you smell like gym," Tony added, wrinkling his nose.

"Sorry," Steve said. "I, uh, broke the wall clock in the gym." He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. I'll just take a quick shower. You two can go ahead and get everything ready."

"Take all the time you need," Tony said. He looped his arms over Bucky's neck and pulled him down for a kiss. "Bucky and I will be just fine without you."

Bucky smirked and nipped at Tony's throat. "Yep, you're going to miss out, Steve. Tony's about to pop off any second."

"Lies," Tony said. He squirmed into a better position so Bucky could straddle his hips.

"Oh, you will," Bucky purred. He flexed the fingers in his metal hand. "As soon as I wrap this bad boy around your cock."

"Haha, you wish."

Steve sighed. "Can't you two at least try and wait for me?"

"Can't you get your ass in the shower already? The sooner you get done, the sooner you get to play with us."

Steve rolled his eyes, but he stepped into the bathroom and a second later there was the sound of water running.

"Thank god," Tony said. "I thought he'd never leave."

"Now I've got you all to myself," Bucky said with a predatory gleam in his eye. He stroked a metal finger against his chin. "Wanna find out how far I can get this up your ass?"

"We should wait for Steve."

"What's the matter? Don't think you'll be able to last that long?"

"Bring it on," Tony said. "I can outlast you any day."

"Sir," Jarvis cut in. "I suggest that you-"

"Oh, come on, J. We agreed that you'd stay out of my sex life. No judgments, okay?" He wriggled out of his jeans and spread his legs.

The door swung open and Pepper marched in with a clipboard in hand. "Tony, I am getting really tired of chasing you down to-oh my god." She put a hand over her mouth.

Tony cringed. "This isn't what it looks like."

"Don't give me that," Pepper snapped. "It's exactly what it looks like." She smacked him with her clipboard. "Anthony Edward Stark, I can't believe you." Another hard smack with the clipboard. "After all Steve's done for you, you're actually cheating on him." And then she really started whaling on him.

Tony put his hands up to shield his face. "Pepper, darling, it's not like that. Pepper, Pep...goddamnit, would you just listen to me?"

Bucky rolled over to shield Tony with his body. "Miss Potts, you don't understand."

"Oh, I understand perfectly, you little snake." She smacked Bucky hard across his arm. "You're trying to break them up so you can have Steve all to yourself. I've seen the way you look at him. I knew it was a mistake letting you move in here and now I know why."

"Pepper, please!" Steve shouted from the bathroom.

She stopped mid-swing. "Steve?"

Steve hurried into the room, towel tied loosely around his waist. "Are you two alright?"

"Fine," Bucky said.

Tony nodded.

Steve exhaled noisily. "Thank god." He eyed Pepper. "I gave them permission, you know."

She stared at him. "You want your best friend to sleep with your boyfriend?"

"No, I want my boyfriend to sleep with my other boyfriend."

"You," she said, still looking shocked. "All three of you?"

"Yes," Steve said. "All three of us. I love Bucky, too, but I would never leave Tony for him. So this way I never have to choose between my two favorite fellas."

"It doesn't make any sense," she murmured.

"It doesn't need to make sense to you, just to us," Steve said. "I know you care about Tony and you never want to see him hurt, but it's not your relationship anymore. He can make his own choices, even if they're the wrong ones."

"You're still one of the best decisions of my life," Tony said affectionately.

Pepper frowned. "You're all really okay with this?"

"Absolutely," Tony said. "We'll talk later, okay, Pep? Lot of work to do." He took the clipboard out of her hands and ushered her out the door.

"My god, that was the worst," he said, once he had collapsed back on the bed.

"She's scary when she's mad," Bucky agreed.

"You two okay?" Steve asked. "Anything bruised or broken?"

"Just my pride," Tony said with a sigh.

"I hope we've learned something today," Steve said.

"Yep," Tony said. "Pepper hates surprises."

Steve gave him a stern look.

"And that all of this horribleness could have been avoided if we communicated more."

Steve nodded sagely. "We're part of a good group of people. We need to trust them to support us."

"Ooh," Tony said. "Do you think Fury knows? Please let me be the one to break it to him."

Steve sighed. "Fine. You can tell him. He does deserve to know, too."

Tony shared a grin with Bucky. He couldn't wait. Fury's reaction would be the best.


End file.
